


His last Good-bye

by Dell_Anne_Raye



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Love, Mass Effect 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-21 16:17:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14288712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dell_Anne_Raye/pseuds/Dell_Anne_Raye
Summary: After the battle for earth, Shepard is listed MIA, Tali sits in his cabin and finds a video he recorded, his last good-bye





	1. Chapter 1

__

_ (Shepard records a video before the final assault on earth, For Tali, his last good-bye) _

__  
  


_ She could smell him, sitting there in his cabin aboard the SSV Normandy.  Shepard had saved them all, and been listed Missing In Action.  _

_ She stared at the picture of him, the tears falling, her heart broken. When she touched the image she heard his voice, a video began playing. _

_ “Tali, if your seeing this I didn’t make it back. I’m sorry, I hope you know I did my best to come back.” Shepard’s  voice  _

_ Began to crack weighed down with emotions. She could hear it in his words. “I’d have done anything to be there with you.  _

_ I suppose the quiet life never fit in the plan for me after all.  After Horizon, when Ashley broke my heart,  _

_ well I thought I’d never feel love again, certainly never feel it stronger than before I’d been brought back. But there you were,  _

_ You listened to me, you comforted me. In the short time we spent together,  _

_ I pray you know, no man has ever been more loved, than I have been by you.” He paused, his breath ragged and filled with the uncertainty he felt.  _

_ “No matter where I go, after I die, trust me, I will always be with you. If you look in my desk drawer you will find my dog tags, their not much but I’d like you to have them. Please go on with your life, Love again, build your home on Rannoch. That is my wish for you.” Tali paused the video as she walked to his desk, opening the drawer she saw them.  _

_ Then something else in the drawer caught her eye, a small brown box, she picked it up and opened it to find a diamond ring, and a note that simply said “ Marry Me”. At that moment her heart broke a little more, he was gone, and she wished so much to be able to tell him yes, but now it seemed bitter sweet.  _

_  Pushing the play button once more she watched again “By now i’m sure you’ve found the box.” he said with that smile that she loved “I wanted to be there to ask you, if i’m not I’m just going to pretend you said yes” he chuckled breathlessly.  _

_ “I don’t want you to stop living because I’m gone, Tali, promise me you won’t” he pleaded.  _

_ “Well, my time is up here, in more ways than one I suppose. Thank you for loving me, caring for me and I will always love you” he ended the video.  _

_ She wasn’t sure how long she’d sat there staring at his picture, but as she placed it back on his desk she whispered  _

_ “I Promise”......  _


	2. Last request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard leaves video messages for his crew...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I think Shepard would've left messages behind, so I'm adding chapters. :D   
> Garrus finds his message..

Garrus stood in the gun bay aboard the Normandy, they'd defeated the Reapers but at the cost of Shepard, Seemed like a hallow victory. But he still had to smile,   
"How many could actually be said to have died twice to save one galaxy?" He thought to himself. 

As he sat down near the control panel he found a message blinking in his inbox, "Seriously?" he said out loud to no one in particular.   
Opening it he saw the subject and the sender, 

"Commander John Shepard"   
"Need a favor" 

Attached was a vid file, so he started playing it. 

"Hey Garrus, well if you're watching this I didn't make it back" Shepard Chuckled running his fingers through his thick black hair.   
"I suppose that makes you the best shot in the galaxy now right?" He joked.   
"Look, we've been best friends for a while now, so I need you to do me a favor, I'm assuming you're gonna say yes" he winked as he continued.   
"Tali is going to be devastated, I don't want her to be alone." He sighed as he sat down on his bed."I wanted to be there so bad, but I need   
someone I can trust to look out for her, please?" the weight of the worry showing on his face he pleaded from beyond death it seemed  
"Probably shouldn't have started the relationship with her just to leave her facing this alone now, didn't think i'd have to die twice to get someone to   
believe me. Keep her safe, and make sure she lives on? Please would you do this for me? I know it's a lot to ask but I need her to go on." Shepard let out a long   
tired sigh. 

"and hey, remember I'm up here in this bar, and I'll be waiting for when you get here for that drink, but hell take your time." he laughed   
"Well, I really should go" he said as he closed the vid. 

"Yea, Shepard I'll save your ass one more time" Garrus chuckled as he did his best not to cry, Turians don't cry, yeah right....


	3. Liara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard leaves a message to Liara, (this is a letter if he'd had a past relationship with Liara_)

_ Liara sat in shock, though she’d witnessed Shepard dying before she never thought she’d see it again.  _

_ They’d had their own relationship aboard the SR1, however death can change a man., or so she found out.  _

_ She’d given his body to Cerberus, in hopes they could revive him in some way. She’d had her heart broken when  _

_ John told her he was with Tali, but she chose to let him go. Not that her heart listened. So sitting on the normandy,  _

_ Dealing with the aftermath of his death, again she found herself reluctant to open the message that he’d sent before they _

_ Went to earth. She almost didn’t want to know what it said, didn’t want to see his image, it hurt too much.  _

 

_ But, curiosity won out, opening the message she saw it was a video.  _

 

_ “Liara” Shepard's baritone voice started with a sigh in that familiar way he always said her name that she loved, just not today.  _

 

_ “I hope you know I never meant to hurt you, I guess I became a different man after the first normandy.” he sighed, his face showing the pain and  _

_ Worry that he must’ve felt.  _

_ “I’ll always love you, if that means anything now. Maybe it’s possible to love more than one person. Hell, i don’t know i’ve never been  _

_ Good at this sort of thing, I mean give me a gun and tell me to wage a war, I’m good with that.  Tell me to love someone and I always screw it up.” He chuckled, his voice sounding heavy as he ran his hand through his thick hair. “Look, in case I don’t come back, there are things I want you to know, I don’t want to leave this life without you knowing that I meant no harm, that I do care, that I am forever grateful to you” She sat in awe as he poured his heart out over a video. She had the feeling before that last battle that he’d known he wasn't’ coming back., this proved it. “Look, you don’t have to forgive me, god knows I don’t deserve it. I’d like to ask you to keep an eye on Joker, and EDI don’t let anyone take her, Joker needs her and he needs a friend Knowing me I told him I’d be back on board and if your seeing this I apparently lied. Well, I should go, and Liara thanks, you’ll always be my first love” He smiled as the image faded.  _

 

_ She didn’t know how long she sat there and cried, or how in the hell she could be angry and still love a man who had died to protect everyone.  _

_ But she did know she did forgive him, and that she would do as he asked….  _


	4. James Vega

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special message to Vega

_ James wasn’t the kind to sit and cry over a person’s death. He’d idolized Shepard, he  _

_ Saw him as a hero, someone to be like. Nothing prepared him for serving aboard the SR2  _

_ Or under the legendary Spectre and N7 itself. He’d expected him to be tough, to take no shit,  _

_ To be hard on his crew. Like all the stories made him out to be, he never expected him to be so … well for a lack of better words Human.  _

 

_ Shepard had become a hero for standing up against odds that were improbable, for pursuing justice, for saving the council and the citadel, yet if you  _

_ Had asked Shepard he’d tell you he didn’t do anything more than any other marine would do. He never displayed his awards, he never spoke of his Star of Terra, nor did he boast about his  _

_ Being a spectre and N7. He was just as honest as anyone could be, and for James that made him respect the man even more. So it came as no surprise that Shepard had died fighting the reapers. But his heart ached knowing that humanity, and the Galaxy had lost a true hero, someone who’d always fought and never backed down. He sat there holding the papers that said he himself would be going into N7 training, He stared at the last paper, a recommendation from Shepard himself.  _

 

_ “To whom it may concern:  _

 

_ I am Commander John Shepard, N7, Spectre and Alliance Marine. I highly recommend LT James Vega for the N7 program. No matter what your opinions are of me, I ask you to heed my recommendation, He’s an excellent soldier, Alliance to the core. He’s been instrumental in this fight against the reapers. I implore you to accept this recruit on my behalf.  _

 

_ Sincerely  _

 

_ John Shepard “  _

 

_ As he sat there, James knew Shepard never gave recommendations, He’d asked him for one and Shepard simply told him he never would no matter what because it should be on merit. So he almost didn’t believe this piece of paper he held, or the attached note from Hackett stating “Vega, I hope you realize that this is the only recommendation Shepard ever gave, You will be accepted and I hope you can honor his faith in you, I pray that you can carry on his legacy and keep his deeds alive by your own actions”.  _

 

_ James pulled out the tattered Normandy SR1 patch that had been made to memorialize his idols first death, he always took it on missions, it never left his sight for that long. He could still remember watching in awe as the Council made Shepard the first human spectre, that seemed like ages ago. As he sat there in the docking bay he reluctantly opened the video message from Shepard, “ This ought to be good” he said to himself as he pressed play.   _

  
  


_ “James, since your sitting watching this I’m pretty sure I didn’t make it.” Shepard began.  _

_ “I’m hoping you get into the N7 program. You deserve it, you’re a hell of a soldier, Do me a favor though, get out, take shore leave, find a good woman, it’s not a bad thing. I left my n7 Gear on your bench, refit it, and wear it well. I am proud to have served with you. Please take care and I know you’ll be a great leader.” Shepard’s voice wasn’t the normal confident tone he’d usually heard. “By the way I put in for you to be considered for the Star of Terra. You were a hero when it mattered.”  _

 

_ “I’ve gotta go, you know me always some war to fight. God speed LT.”  _

 

_ With that his screen went blank as James sat alone, his soul heavy, his heart aching and  _

_ The tiniest of Tears falling….  _

 

_ “Dammit, you had to make me cry, Loco” he cursed to the empty bay.  _


	5. Letter to Ashley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's letter to Ashley (as if they'd had a previous relationship)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a WIP
> 
> This one is written as if they'd had a previous relationship, but current relationship with Tali.

_**Ashley still couldn't believe he was gone, again. They'd had their time, she knew she pretty much screwed that up. Not that she completely regretted what she said, but she didn't blame him for moving on. It'd been hard to see him with Tali, to see how truly they did care about one another. She respected the man, idolized the legend and learned to love him from a distance. Sitting on the observation deck of the SSV Normandy she'd been putting off reading his message, she didn't understand where he'd found time to message her before the attack on earth. Sure they'd not found his body but she'd been pretty certain he had died defeating the reapers, "Just his fashion, damn hero man" she thought to herself as she opened his message, and his image came up on the screen.** _

 

_**"Hey Ash" John's voice sounded more resilient than normal. "So here's the deal, if your seeing this I definitely went down fighting." He chuckled giving that easy smile he always gave her to reassure her  "Don't be angry at Tali, please there is enough fighting and anger as it is. We both hurt each other, no point in hashing old wounds. We had our time, it was great while it lasted, but death, war, and hell got in the way. Death changes a man, when I'd been brought back, it changed me, for bad or worse I changed. On Horizon, when I saw you, my first thought was thank god, then you broke my heart, I'm not bitter by any means ash, just when I had hit bottom, and I needed someone to talk to, well damn it ash you left me hanging" His voice sounded pained, hurt and laced with emotions. "Tali, in all her innocents, in all her reverence or whatever you call it. Lent me a shoulder, listened to me. She never doubted me, I can't pin point the exact moment when I knew I loved her, and frankly it doesn't matter. She gave me peace in a lifetime of war, betrayal and she didn't expect anything from me. I'll always care about you, but I'll always be in love with her. If that makes any sense, like i've said before Ash, I'm not very good at this sort of thing. Give me a gun and point me at an enemy, I'm golden, ask me to talk to a woman and I'm a stumbling idiot." He chuckled clearly trying to lighted whatever mood he envisioned his talk would've brought.** _

 

_**Sitting down at his desk, he let out a sigh " Look, I don't want to die knowing that your still angry with me. But hell when your facing this shit how do are you supposed to sit down and have this conversation. Yes I said it, I'm not a dumb man, I know the odds are not good. I'm willing to wager that I will die doing this, and I'm willing to do that, you know me. Never backed down before, sure as hell won't now. I'll let you in on a tad little secret Vega likes you, but you're gonna have to start that, he won't. Go out, fall in love. Take the good memories we had, remember them. I pray you forgive me, I hope you aren't angry with Tali. But hey I gotta go, always some war to wage, and can't have one of those without me dying" he laughed running his hands through his dark hair.** _

 

_**"See ya on the on the other side LC. Give 'em hell" he said as he ended the video and his image faded from view.** _

 

_**She'd never really been mad at him or tali more so herself....** _

_**She held the Cross necklace he'd given her years before and laughed, "Aye, Aye Skipper" she said as she placed it in the box again where she kept it.** _

 


	6. Miranda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's goodbye to Miranda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, still working on this piece

     Miranda hadn't ever been alliance, she felt like an outsider after the collector base. She'd started the Lazarus project 

with a mistrust of Shepard, She knew now in the wake of his second death she had been wrong. She had witnessed his Valor,

his bravery and courage the deeds big and small he did without expecting anything in return. She'd come to admire that about him, 

She'd learned how to face her own demons, learned to listen to others and yet she felt a huge sadness knowing John had died fighting

again. To her surprise she had Internet mail, sender listed as John Shepard, which confused her. 

 

 

Opening the attached Video file she watched with reverence as his image came on the screen, he had his quirky smile and trade mark messy 

dark hair and ever showing stubble. "Miranda" he spoke softly as he sighed "Look there aren't any words I can offer to thank you for the time you gave me,

I hope you know I didn't throw my life into this without thought. Hell I'm not even sure that this will work, but what the hell have I got to loose. It's what

I was born for, Just promise me don't bring me back again" He chuckled as he smiled into the camera "Not sure how many more memorials the alliance can 

keep building, I hope you are able to put your talents to work for all the universe. Maybe even join the alliance? well a guy can hope right?"

 

She watched as she silently cried, heard the ragged shallow breathing he tried to hide and most of all saw the determination and fear in his expressions. 

 

"Look, I never was meant to die of old age, lets face it I'm a soldier. I'll always risk my life. Nothing new there, I am sorry that I won't make it. No I'm not wanting to 

die I just know that the odd's aren't in my favor. I hope you find peace and the love you deserve, with that I'm gonna go, can't have the party start without me, just 

remember you don't have to be perfect. Well I really should go, take care of yourself" and with a wink and a crooked smile his image faded from her screen. She didn't know

why but she was angry, sad and tired all at the same time. She rewound the video to his ending image and paused it, this is how she would remember 

Commander John Shepard, with the wink and a smile that he used to make everyone else feel a bit better. 

 

"God speed Shepard" she whispered as she let her tears fall without restraint. 


	7. Subject Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard sends jack a message...

  She was angry at him that wasn’t anything new, he’d promised her he’d come back, he’d said “I’ll catch ya on the other side” did she misread what he meant? Shepard had always made it back from every mission, but now as she sat on board the Normandy, days after the crucible fired ridding the galaxy of the reapers ground crews were unable to find him or his body. Not for a lack of Personel either they’d had every spieces searching earth for any sign of him. It had been the largest rescue search in history and still no sign, except the annoying ding of a message on her screen that said the sender was in fact John Shepard. 

 

  “Fuck it” she said as she opened the message to reveal a video, “alright I’ll bite Shepard” she said as she pushed play and saw him appear, his wavy dark hair all messed up as he ran his fingers through it. His eyes held an exhausting look, but as always he gave that smirk that she swore had women dropping their panties for him. In truth she’d thought he was kinda hot but she’d never told him. 

 

 “Hey Jack” His usually confident voice ragged and torn”look I meant to make it, I really did. But if you are getting this the time limit I set for it to send after not signing in has passed and I didn’t make it. Look, your a great person, and you’ve done great things. Please don’t stop that” he pleaded with emotion that she’d only seen him give to Tali, that reservation he held for those closest to his heart. She didn’t know he’d cared that much, sure they’d flirted, even kissed once but she’d let it go when he had started dating Tali. 

  
  


  “Maybe in another life something could’ve happened between us, I never meant to lead you on, I hope you know that. I genuinely cared for you, if that means anything, hell it wasn’t the right time and you were to fragile. But you deserve that kind of love, to feel safe I hope even if for a short time I gave you that kind of peace” he sighed leaning back as he continued “what was done to you can never be taken away but you have used that to become the person you are now” 

  
  


 Jack paused the video, standing up she slammed her fist into a nearby locker. She’d never trusted anyone like she’d trusted him, he’d given her so much and still died. 

 

Pushing play again she heard him breath raggedly and start again “don’t stop your path to good on this, I’m still there at heart, I left you a gift in your locker, I hope you like it. Well I gotta go please take care, and know in some sort of special way, in my own way I did love you.” With that his image faded a smirk on his face as it ended. She open her locker to find a locket with his picture inside it, next to it was a patch that said “SSV Normandy SR2 member 2186” her name had been embroidered on it and he’d embroidered Shepard as her last name. A little note attached to it said maybe you can build something with my name that I can’t, start new. 

  
  


Jack sat there running her fingers over it and she decided she would honor his memory by accepting this… 

  
  


         “Alright Shepard I’ll do it” she whispered shutting her locker and putting the patch and locket in her pocket. She’d remember him, keep his name alive and she’d continue doing as he’d asked…. 

  
  


       Because maybe she reasoned that is what love would do… 


	8. His message to the galaxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath a message to those who remained is played

   Long after the reapers were defeated, months after they had called off the search for Commander Shepard, Hackett made the choice to authorize the video message Shepard had recorded to be played on ANN and all news channels. He never wanted to have to officially announce his death, again. But he’d meant so much to everyone that he had to do it. So he calmed himself,  stood in his dress blues in front of the news camera and began to speak what the galaxy already knew. 

  
  


   “It is with great regret that I stand here to inform you of the death of Spectre, Alliance N7 Marine John Shepard. We have exhausted all areas of search without finding either him alive or his remains. He remains a hero, and an honored soldier. He recorded a message before that battle for earth that I have authorized to be played. It is a sad day, godspeed Commander” Hackett finished as the video began. 

  
  


  “I’m Commander Shepard and if this is being played I didn’t make it back. I’m asking that you all build with peace, I’ve seen too much war, I’ve died twice technically to not see much peace in my life. Honor all the souls that have died to defend today. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I hope these deaths bring peace, a high price was paid. May the galaxy build upon what has been purchased in blood.” He stood gave a salute and firmly stated “this is Commander Shepard out” 

 

The video played often and became a powerful tool in alliance recruiting. A memorial placed in London stood a sculpture of the man, the legend and the hero that had given his life twice. 


End file.
